of lianbeng and misconstrued hearing.

listening to: breathe(2 am) - anna nalick

it was the culmination of all the little things that just made today brighter than it already was - a presentation well done; having a good time in the library with yixin and in lecture with sarah and huixin; knowing that the first paper of the prelims was good; mr peh's unexpected message on my way home; my mum's phone call to check if my tooth was still hurting and if i wanted to go to the doctor.

and for the first time in a long while, there was a little, almost imperceptible flutter, a faint scent of cologne, a very secret (although painful) smile, and a sudden onslaught of the 'what am i supposed to do slash where are you my friends?' syndrome.

reel of life.

'one hour photo' is one of the most frighteningly beautiful films ever to be made. each and everytime i watch it, i can't help being struck by the underlying fragility and the layers of undercurrents that just seem to pour out all at the same time - all the smaller pictures within the big picture itself. last night was no different. it's heartbreaking watching the deception beneath the pretty photographs, and the hidden desires that threaten to surface. so reminiscent of reality, it's echoingly haunting.

takeaway quote of the day:

people don't realise that photographs are actually stamps on time....each photograph taken says 'i was here. i existed. i was young. i was alive. and someone cared enough about me to take my photo'.

come dance with me in my makeshift rainbow-land. you'll probably have to squeeze in though.

i relived one of the most horrific memories of my pre-university days while on the bus this morning - 2.4km run. seeing the poor kids huffing and puffing around their school compound reminded me of all the heart palpitations, sweaty palms and wobbly legs i endured from primary four, the minute the pe teacher announced the date for our napfa test. if i could, i would have fainted before my run each and every time but then again, this (imagined) conversation wouldn't have looked to good on my c.v.

school counselor : now geraldine, why do you think you faint each time before your 2.4 run?
me : i am sick and tired of running, that's all.
school counselor : hmm, i see. i think it's very brave of you to face up to your problems instead of running away. now what do you think you're running from?
me : what the...

from this, i take it you can guess whati do every morning.

anw for those who didn't already know, i have a penchant for round neck tees, among other things like polka-dots and stripes. so when i saw that giordano was having a sale today - 4 for $39 when it would originally cost me $64 - i grabbed four coloured tees and happily paid for it. so as of today, i can proudly proclaim that i have every single coloured round neck tee from giordano in my wardrobe. it's like rainbow-land in there!

so inspite of my near-relapse into horror land this morning, bright happy colours cheer me up!

wash with vanish, and your colours appear brighter than before!

T.G.I.F (and i say this with the biggest smile on my face!)

listening : father figure - george michael

going to church on tuesday was a much needed reprieve from all that was going on. on the way home, i called nas and started rambling on about a host of things that seem so very stupid and immature as im typing this. i remember the priest saying 'how many times have we threatened to abandon God when he refuses to answer our prayers? we may feel as if he has forgotten us but even in our most trying times, we have to remember and believe in His love, and that alone will give us the answers we need'. after the homily, i recall just surrendering everything that i was feeling to Him and telling Him to do things as He sees fit. and when mass was over, i felt so at peace. He's always been there when i need Him, even though others probably need Him more, and when i think about that i feel so loved. i love my Lord and Saviour with all my heart and all my being :)

and school's looking up! turns out most of the people in my IT class are as computer literate as i am so the lecturer had to go RATHER slowly. but it was fun. met a girl named felicia who's so nice! :) i had a great time exploring how to send emails during the first lesson lol. had communication fundamentals and financial management today - one left me hungry, the other left my fingers streaked red from my leaking marker. the best thing about university is the subjects. for the first time since ms k's lit lessons do i find myself looking forward to going to tutorials and seminars. and the people are just so nice :) shuyi and i, together with felicia and eunice found shortcuts all over the school today thanks to eunice who led us through doors and doors i never knew existed! im really beginning to love school and for all that i may have said and thought before, i wouldn't change my decision coming here :)

now for the guy updates! there are two foreign students in my classes (actually three, but one's a girl) - the mexican boy (derrick alberto) is in my biz law tutorial while the swedish boy (i think, lars) is in my financial mgt seminar group. AAAAANNNNNNDDDDD I SPOTTED THE MOST GORGEOUS INDIAN GUY EVER TODAY! wah my heart almost fell out of my chest and i almost tripped on the steps! very nice :)

oh wells, much more to offer in the coming week i hope :) haha that's kinda like the summary of what happened these two days, which on reading back is actually quite abit. off to do my biz law and accounting notes, of which debits and credits and dividend payments are likely to haunt me tonight.

library girl.

so here i am, posting my first entry from the floor of the lee wee nam library. it actually looks like the floor of the stock exchange(!) if you can somehow picture it without the tables, computers AND computers. now if only everyone was fingering the air and making contorted expressions instead of staring at the screen.

i know the burning question on everyone's mind (or only zaria's) is what the heck am i doing in the library on my second day of school?! i was printing my notes, and after wandering around aimlessly (again) with elissa, i decided to come here. it kinda reminds me of my time in sa before the a's when liz/linette/dre/lings/nas would sit in the library (or out of it) and mugg. i can just forsee the rest of my three years haha.

i've still got time to kill before my lecture at 2.30, for which i have to take the lift down, cross the dangerous carpark, and walk down a flight of stairs - all in my oh-so-pretty but oh-so-painful shoes. the price i have to pay to look cute.

nora and dora, the chance sisters.

i just got back from ntu's freshmen welcome ceremony, and i must say, it left me feeling very inspired. inspired to do my very best, and make the most of my three years in the school. i managed to set myself 8 goals to attain before graduation! *claps for myself* hey it's an achievement aights. and im positively serious about what and where i want to end up. wearing the gown, while declaring ourselves to ntu was the pivotal point. i think the whole independence thing is really starting to take root in my head, so much so i managed to find the student services centre by myself! (well, with a little help from the security guard at the admin office haha). AND i saw so many people today!

yuntzu / sarah toh! / xinxian / iffah / genevieve / serene / some girl from my primary school / one half of ugly couple (ugh) and the nice girl from accounting who is xinxian's friend :)

so here's to three years of new beginnings, new friendships and possibly a new start in life!

monochromed memories, they may not be.

listening : not an addict - k's choice

i slaved for more than 2 hours yesterday trying to re-configure my timetable into something that i would understand. after countless sheets of paper and crooked lines, i have finally done my timtable for the next 13 weeks of school - spaces intact to fill in my electives and GER-PEs. it's not too bad, considering that i have no need to go to school on wednesday (it may be short lived but heck it), and my lessons are usually late in the morning. the only stinky part about the whole thing is me having lessons till 4.30pm on the three out of four days that i have school. im still trying to get my head around the whole GERs system. got my dad to print out an envelope of stuff for me to read through, just so i might understand the basic. i know they'll probably explain it all the us during orientation, but it is at times like this when i long for the spoon-fed days of printed timetables, coloured breaks and no-point grumblings.

it's a good thing bob the builder can't be my house contractor. i'll steal his yellow helmet.

given that my house is going to be TOTALLY DESTROYED in 3 months time, AND i am gonna have to live out of my suitcase in either a hotel or someplace else, the family and i went shoppping for lights/beds/furniture/appliances over the weekend! saturday was spent at courts testing out beds and mattresses, after which we went down to al-amen for dinner. word of caution, they sell THE worst pataya rice i have ever eaten. so much for trying to satisfy my sudden craving. i ended up feeling fat and unsatisfied. definitely not a good combination. decided to walk down to bukit timah plaza from there, upon my mum's imsistence that 'crystal palace light house' was still open. you should have seen the look on my dad's face when we got there, only to realise that half the shops were closed, and the only shop selling lights was 'edison'!

delectable chicken rice followed church on sunday. we took a quiet bus trip down to balestier where we got really funky lights for the entire house. trooped down to BiG (my fav!) to check out the fridges/washing machines/vacuum cleaners. my mum was like a kid in the candy store haha. she was ooh-ing and aah-ing over every metallic appliance. too cute. you should see her when she goes to ikea.

this weekend is going to be spent going down to lady of lourdes's church to get the statues in my house repainted and restained, then to look for curtains and other trimmings - on my parents' part. i'll probably just follow quietly, lost in my own fears and reservations of the new school term that starts on monday.